Once upon a time, the people of Nowhere lived in a town that physically existed. They had jobs, spouses, friends, favorite foods and TV shows, lives. When their town went Nowhere, the people had no sense anything was wrong.

When they woke up on their first morning in Nowhere, they believed they’d always lived there. If someone looked more like something out of a creature feature than a person, or if someone suddenly had the ability to move things with their mind, that kind of thing was always happening. They took their fictional history and made it into a tourist attraction, run by a Frankenstein’s Monster who just answered to FM.

They live this way now. To them, their town is the only town. They never ask what’s outside because it never occurs to them. News stories, weather reports, sports scores? No such animals in this forest. For these people living off the map, Nowhere is forever. They are forever. Every day is just like the one before it… Until it’s not.

It’s A Great Tool if You’re Already Healthy

Background

I became an early adopter of Apple Watch when it was a 1.0 product. Like anyone who doesn’t have an active lifestyle and suddenly finds themself with access to how many calories they’ve burned in a day, I quickly became fascinated with the job of finding out exactly the best way to close my activity rings. When I mastered it, Apple Watch raised the bar. This is every user’s experience, as I understand it.

Another part of the user experience is the potential to top out, meaning the bar has been raised so high that it’s impossible to progress without making lifestyle changes. When that happened, I, probably like some users, focused on being consistent about closing the rings. All I needed to do was ignore the notification at the beginning of each week that prompted me to agree to raising the bar. The model of watch I had was no longer supported, and I decided that $400+ for a replacement was $400 I could put to use elsewhere. The way I saw it, I didn’t need exact numbers as long as I felt that all-important rush of endorphins when the last song on my workout playlist ended and I started cooling down. I looked at it this way until 2020.

Shift

I began experiencing chronic fatigue and pain in the summer of 2018. I put off going to the doctor until the beginning of 2019, and that visit led to another doctor that led to another doctor and I ended up in physical therapy when I expressed concern that my legs were not as coordinated as I felt they should be and I was worried about falling. By March of 2020, I had realized that PT wasn’t doing shit for me and my therapist was spending my time and money to keep her hope for me alive. When the pandemic arrived and locked everything down, I took the opportunity to ghost my therapist.

I realized two things in the absence of PT. First, I really really really enjoy endorphin rushes and being stuck in my apartment was depriving me of even the normal levels I’d get from walking to the bus stop or my office. Second and more importantly, falling was still a possibility for me and I couldn’t count on anyone stopping by if I didn’t show up at my office because nobody was showing up at our office by that time. I bought a new Apple Watch for the fall detection and started closing my activity rings to get the endorphin rush.

Discovery

I knew but still needed to learn that chronic pain is a great unmotivater. Apple Watch hadn’t changed the way it sets goals, so the bar kept getting higher and higher until I topped out. This time, though, it took me three years to do that because I was inconsistent about closing all the rings. I was observing the rule that says don’t do what hurts.

My move goal was increased to 1260 calories last week. I set it, then scaled it back later that afternoon. A flare up was playing keep away with my fitness goals. Furthermore, I realized when I turned a critical eye to my situation, my days had become exercise marathons of 90+ minutes to even get within haling distance of the prescribed goal. Further furthermore, chronic fatigue is still a problem and most of my energy was going into meeting these goals and I was missing out on activities that make me happy. I had perfectly valid reasons for lowering my goals… And yet…

And yet I was annoyed with myself for not following through on that particular commitment. I eventually figured out that was not entirely my fault.

The problem

Apple Watch is a health tool that promotes the health of those who are already healthy. You enter your bio info and it spits out a predetermined goal for exercise, movement and standing based, I believe, on the body mass index (BMI) and other health guidelines. In other words, the goal of Apple Watch seems to be maintaining your already healthy self and building on it. That’s fine if if your only physical problem is that you aren’t active enough. That isn’t my situation.

I’m in a situation where burning 1000 calories is no problem one day, but 500 calories is a point on the distant horizon another day. Since Apple Watch only explicitly presents users with the opportunity to adjust your goals at the beginning of the week (and it’s only the move goal), I don’t expect that many users know it is possible to adjust all of the goals in the fitness app. Even so, there’s no easy way to adjust the goals based on my level of pain that day. Computers are only sensitive and flexible to variations in data when they’ve been programmed that way. Apple has not done that to the best of my knowledge, but this situation is not entirely Apple’s fault.

I mentioned earlier that Apple Watch prescribes goals for users based on pre-established health guidelines. Whether or not Apple realizes it, the watch also sets goals based on the social paradigm that says being disabled is the worst thing that can happen to someone, even, according to who you ask, worse than death—evidence available upon request. The result is there is plenty of focus on meeting and then maintaining certain standards for those who want their body to look a certain way or have had a sobering doctor visit that boiled down to make these lifestyle changes or you’ll turn into a disabled person. There’s a lot of preventative good that comes from this approach, but it has significant failures.

The other result is there is no focus at all in mainstream technology like this on managing an invisible physical disability and maintaining an attainable level of activity. I found out from online conversations I am not the only one in this situation, but the current standards tell me I am. For all of the focus on well-being the makers of fitness trackers seem to miss the boat for mental health almost entirely. Unless the people one befriends on fitness apps are also in a situation like this, it doesn’t take very long for a person disabled in this way to first have trouble competing, then get left behind altogether. Since people with disabilities are already prone to isolation, this is an unfortunate consequence if your approach to physical well being is motivated by the good of all.

Solution/Conclusion

The simplest solution, then, seems to be some changes to Apple’s approach to fitness. I would suggest leaving everything the way it is because this is the most common social approach to fitness, but add the option to have daily flexible goals the users can adjust based on how they feel that day. If Apple makes that setting easy to find, that might be all it takes to begin the conversation about what I tend to think of as FitFlex, meaning flexibility in the definition of fitness. I have had some experience with Fitbit, and it also seems to approach fitness in the way western society does.

This is not a call to dump on Apple, nor is this piece a dump on Apple. Similarly, it is not a call for people to start railing against their fitness conscious neighbors. What this is is a call to reexamine how we view and approach fitness and what it means to have a productive day in that regard. I suppose it could also be considered a call to start being critical about recommendations made by computers, but that is frankly a much bigger problem than I am prepared to express at this point.

Genie sat, wondering for the millionth time how it had gone so wrong so fast. Keep Changeling from waking up—so simple. They and Paige had taken turns challenging him, making him bend his reality more and more.
Paige sang the same song over and over until Changeling stuck her lips together just by thinking about it.
Genie locked him in one of the bathrooms. Changeling walked through the door, leaving little bits of himself (nothing too significant) behind him.
Finally it went too far. Working together, Genie and Paige had made it so that to Changeling, everything looked three times bigger than it was. Changeling flew up to his captain’s chair, then went to land in it.
As he fell to the chair, said chair actually the same distance from the ground as it had been, Changeling almost woke up. Genie felt everything around them waver, deciding whether it would be allowed to continue to exist or if it and everyone on it would go poof.
Everything held.
Only just.
To keep anything like that from happening again, they knocked Changeling out. They kept him that way. They each took turns watching over him.
And then he changed.
Genie saw the pink dragon in Changeling’s bed.
Genie wondered how they were going to tell Paige and Alex that their starship, the sanctuary in the middle of what was essentially the big empty, was being influenced by someone who, as Genie knew from experience, was a bad loser. Especially when it came to poker.

Nothing. I can’t define it, but I know it when I experience it. As soon as I talk about it, nothing becomes something. Pressure on my back, my neck ,my legs.

The pressure under my neck and legs is tighter somehow, more firm. I also hear soft humming. I open my eyes.

I’m being held in the arms of what feels like the biggest, warmest person there is. She’s a woman.

“You’re awake.”

I try to ask where I am, who she is. No words come.

“Awe. That’s part of the camouflage. Just think it at me.

“Yes. Just like that. You’re in a safe place. A secret place.

“I have used many names. Right now, I am partial to Skyler.

“Why can’t you talk?”

She holds up a mirror. I see her. I see the hand she’s using to hold the mirror, the arm attached to that hand. The other arm is holding…

“Why a pink dragon? Dragons are very special here. There are a lot of them, but there’s only really one that matters. It’s lost as it happens.

“How’d you find your way here when you erased the coordinates of this place from your ship’s memory? I have my ways. Basically, I figure you’re better off here with me than out there. Your starship isn’t long for this world, I’m afraid.”

I just stared at this woman.

“Don’t worry. There are plenty of ways to pass the time. Tonight’s game night. I’ll bring you with me—Ashley, my new pet dragon. Named after the Dragon Ashley, who looks after those who are… Just a little different.

“What games will we play? It’s my turn to pick the games, and we’ll play any game we want… Except poker. I hate poker.”

The boy held the key in his hand, a big metal thing with an ugly skull on it.

“What is this?”

“It’s the key to the door that keeps all the night things locked away.”

“I don’t want it.”

“But you’ve got it. It’s yours to look after.”

And he looked after the key for seventy-five years. Then he died. During his time with the key, he’d come to decide he wouldn’t be passing it on. There were bad dreams, headaches, but worst of all was the tight feeling in the back of him, always there and promising bad things.

When he died, nobody was left to keep the key, so it dissolved. The door also dissolved and all the night things escaped. They spilled out into the town where the boy then man had lived, and that town completely disappeared for three days and three nights.

Maps that had been printed long before the availability of GPS showed only a blank spot roughly the size and shape of the town. Those who tried to navigate to an address in that town using GPS spent hours driving in circles.

When the town reappeared, it was completely empty. Journalists called the town Nowhere. Eventually, some enterprising people turned the town into a tourist attraction. The stories about nowhere and the world at large moved on.

From time to time, a tourist would go missing. Usually last seen on the fringes of the tour group, their picture would be featured in news stories for a time before the world forgot them. The number of disappearing tourists got too high, and Nowhere was shut down. It was also forgotten.

It sat neglected, abandoned, a genuine ghost town in a world filled with genuine ghost towns. Then, someone wished for a starship to escape the world. On the day the starship launched, Nowhere disappeared again. Maps and GPS’s blanked out like before, and every story that had been written about Nowhere blinked out of existence. People reading stories about Nowhere when it disappeared found themselves Rick-rolled with no memory of what they’d clicked to end up watching that video.

One reporter was in the middle of recording the VoiceOver for a twentieth anniversary special on nowhere when it ceased to exist. This reporter, not liked by his colleagues and with awards for many of his stories, found himself in the middle of a sentence about Nowhere that had no beginning and no end. He stood there for several seconds, mouth opening and closing as groped for words that were no longer words at all. This reporter took early retirement and never spoke again.

For a place that never existed, according to all physical records, Nowhere managed to do a lot of damage when it disappeared.

Changeling and some Numbers

I’ve been on the Internet for many years, and I’ve seen many strange handles—even used some of them. In my early twenties, I signed up for my first Gmail account. Because my name is fairly common, it was impossible to get an address without a lot of rearranged letters, numbers and punctuation marks. I put “changeling” into the box and a few numbers later, I had a new email address.

At the same time, Twitter was becoming more and more popular, and so I took “changeling”, added some numbers and had a fairly easy twitter handle. This handle went on to get me an AIM name, a Skype account and other services. These days, some for of changeling is my Internet handle.It only stands to reason that someone is going to ask why, and they have. I am writing this to give those people a place to go when they ask. They can read it or not on their own time. My answer is not so different from when other people identify with words that are generally seen as negative.

What is a changeling?

Before we can fully see the significance of this name for me, we must first answer the question. I’ll be including the necessary information to do that, but since this is a post about personal experiences and how I’ve decided to deal with them, I’m not going to be linking to outside sources. I’m talking to you and I want your attention. When you’ve finished here, you can look up changelings on the internet and verify everything I tell you. I will forewarn you that some of the details you’ll find on other sites are a bit graphic and disturbing, so proceed with caution.

Ready? Okay. Here it is.

A changeling is the creature that results when a human child is stolen and a fairy is left in its place. There is much speculation about the motives of the Fae (I personally believe it’s because the Fae were trolling humans even before there was an Internet), but the TLDR of the whole mess is that parents lived in fear of their child being replaced with a being of Faery. This superstition, according to first books and then the Internet, this superstition was part of the Middle Ages.

Since people have a natural fear of anyone who doesn’t look like them, since the Middle Ages was not known for its higher thinking in regard to people with disabilities, anyone who had physical or behavioral differences that set them apart from the group were thought to be changelings. The parents of such a creature were shunned, and so parents did any number of unpleasant things to try and (a) cure the child of its affliction, or (b) rid themselves of the changeling.

In one memorable example, a woman who believed her son was a changeling strapped her son to a board and through him in the river. At her murder trial, she stated that if the child had floated, she would have known it was a changeling and that it had to be killed. This must have been logical to everyone involved because she was acquitted.

And how is This Still Relevant?

We like to think people know better today. Disabled people are usually seen as people with differences. I’ve been prayed over, but nobody has attempted an exorcism on me. I’ve never been strapped to a board and thrown in the river, either. This does not mean that people aren’t intolerant, nor does it mean that the human race as a whole doesn’t have room to grow when it comes to dealing with people who are different, or even that people with differences are made to feel welcome in many situations.

I’m totally blind, and this is a well-understood phenomenon in 2023. It’s well-established that blind people are people with a difference, and I still live in a world where accessibility is an after-thought, assuming it’s even thought of at all. In other words, I’m still living in a world where I’m only independent when I’ve been society has made allowances for it. I can’t imagine that this is a favorite truth of anyone who is disabled, but there it is. I won’t let it rule me, but it has to be acknowledged. Therefore, the Internet knows me as Changeling.

Is there a precedent?

Of course there is. One of my favorite examples is found in one of the Vagina Monologues, where the speaker is justifying reclamation of the C-word. There are racial groups who embrace some of the epithets inflicted upon them by others. And no discussion about being known as Changeling would be complete without pointing out that many LGBTQIA+ folks refer to themselves as queer (a thing that I do not do even though I am Ace).

Did you get What you Came for?

I sure hope so. There’s not much left to say here. TLDR: I’m Changeling because I’m acknowledging the fact that the world sucks sometimes. There might come a day when I don’t need it, but I think it’ll always be there. It can be a kind of historical artifact or something. We could all do with a look back these days.

Ep. 1: Escape Wish

My first two wishes got me a house and car. I made my third wish. The genie sighed, shrugged their shoulders and said, “There’s always one,” and gave me a starship loaded with supplies. On the day I escaped, the genie made their escape with me.

Ep. 2: Hidden planet: Lost Dragon

Convincing an alien race that my starship was not their long lost dragon deity revealed them to be a peaceful people on a eutopian planet. We wiped the exact location of that planet and people from our travel log, and they gave us a cat named Alex as a We’re sorry for capturing/gesture of continued good will toward us. Alex is an intergalactic linguistic expert among other things.

Until we meet again, my dragon-worshipping, feline gifting friends!

Ep. 3: The Ball Pit

There is a room on the ship that is a ball pit, and the balls have children’s faces on them. We had just closed the door and agreed never to speak of this room again when Genie noticed one of the balls had rolled out. They stared at the girl’s face on it before quietly taking the ball to their quarters, presumably for further study.

I wish they hadn’t. I was just starting to forget that the ball-girl was on board when Alex said he was sure he could hear children’s laughter while the door was open. I’m starting to have questions about just what kind of escape vehicle this turned out to be.

Ep. 4: A Night with Genie

They beat The Sandman at Poker when they were young, and they haven’t slept well since. There’s nothing to do most nights but think on what a stupid move it had been to bluff someone so powerful into folding such a good hand when all they had were low cards, but tonight is something different. There is the room that is a ballpit and what came out of it to consider.

Genie looks at the face on the ball. It is a child’s face. A girl’s face. A face they recognize. They even know the name that goes with it, but won’t—can’t look at that right now.

They will use the girl’s name. The ship has an extensive media library that contains, among other things, archives of every news story prior to the ship’s launch. A few keystrokes tells Genie everything they need to know, and they also realize this trip may not be the escape they thought it was.

Okay, they think. I can deal with this. The first thing to do is get the girl out of the ball.

Ep. 5: Beef and Juice

The two space traveling cows haled us, and our first look at their video feed showed them standing at the controls of their craft with a dragon in the background. Once Alex started translating the the cows recognized him as having lived on the dragon-worshiping planet, they were insistent that we give them the coordinates so they could return the dragon.

When we explained that we wiped the location of that planet from our travel log and explained why, the cows said, “Sounds fake, but okay.” Before blasting off again.

Ep. 6: Paige and Genie in That Order

“Good! You’re awake.”

“Where am I?”

“Aboard the Starship Changeling.”

“What is that?”

“Someone’s third wish. Changeling’s to be exact.”

“How did I get here?”

“… Well …”

“I remember you! You’re GeniYou were my imaginary friend.”

“I was your very real friend. Like this ship and everyone and everything aboard, I operate on a different plane of existence. Children see me. Adults don’t. I know how this sounds because of where we are, but it ain’t t here?”

“You were ten, and you decided that as a new ten-year-old, you should conquer your fear of the ball pit.”

“I went by myself.”

“All by yourself. You chased me away.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Anyway, you went in. You went all the way to the bottom … You never came out.

“Something else came out of that pit, and it looked like you so no news stories, search parties, etc. I stopped befriending children after that. I should have come with you.”

“I didn’t want you there. I chose to jump into the ball pit. …

“I can’t turn it off. I keep thinking about it.”

“Didn’t I used to sing you to sleep? You know… Before I disappeared and was replaced.”

“You did. Every night. I never actualy slept. Can’t. It just really relaxed me.”

“Okay. Let’s try that.

… … …

“Good. You’re relaxed. I’ll be right here when you wake up. We’ll figure this out.”

… … …

“One more question.””

“Sure.”

Is Changeling a child?”

“No.”

“But it was Changeling’s wish that got us here.”

“I don’t understand why. Changeling is different, I think. I’m here to figure out just how different is different.”

“I’ll help.”

Ep. 7: Changeling, Paige and Genie

I would have gotten my ass kicked if the new girl had meant to do it. She caught me totally unaware. One minute, I was in Genie’s quarters, fiddling with the wifi box and completely alone. The next, a voice behind me said,

“I remember that song. My mom used to sing it.”

I spun the way one will when they are caught humming and they didn’t know they were doing it, and there was a girl holding a stuffed unicorn.

Not just any girl.

Last time I’d seen her face, it had been on a plastic ball.

Didn’t see the ball, but there was the girl. Only one thing to make of that.

“I can’t call you Ball Pit Girl. That just sounds wrong.”

“My name is Paige. I know Genie, and you’re not a cat. You must be Changeling.”

“What’s your unicorn’s name?”

“I never gave him one. I found him and I picked him up, and the next thing I remember is being here.”

I turned to Genie as they stepped in. “Genie,” I said, “this is Paige. She’s the newest passenger on my starship.”

“I was going to tell you, but I didn’t know how. She’s not just from the ball pit. She’s from before I met you.”

“How is it even possible?”

“I don’t know. The ship is, after all, the product of your wish.”

“You’re saying I’m doing it?”

“I’m saying the ship exists through nonconventional means. Therefore, nonconventional things will be possible on it.”

I left then.We’ll have to sort this out, but I can’t do that if I’m not in the loop.

Ep, 8: Another Room, Another Character Behaves Strangely

We found another impossible room on the ship. This one is a long hall of doors that seems to go on forever. Genie said they read about a room like that once, and they seemed reluctant to enter.

We did go in, and we realized the doors opened on a different TV universe. I opened one onto the original “Star Trek”, and then we all spent time trying to assign the main roles to ourselves. Alex said if anything, we were more qualified for the cast of “Spaceballs,” and all of us but Paige had a good laugh at that.

Another door opened on Springfield and the Simpsons, another the set of “Big bang Theory”. We were having fun until Paige opened one on the original “Twilight Zone”. She looked in for a minute, then gasped and closed the door. She backed into Genie who put an arm around her, and she won’t talk about what she saw in there. She just keeps throwing me these little sideways glances.

Anyway, that room is now also off limits. At this rate, we’ll all just have to stay in the common room all the time. I wish I knew what she saw…

Ep. 9: The Beginning Pt. 1

In Paige and Genie’s quarters with just them.

“Why is Changeling always dreaming?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Well, when you sleep, you dream. I can feel you dream.”

“I see.”

“Okay. Well, I only ever saw Changeling awake… But dreaming. I feel it.”

“Even now?”

“It’s just us now. But probably.” Genie stands. “I think I know what’s going on. We need to talk to Alex.

“One other thing. When we were in the room with all the doors. What did you see in the last one?”

She tells them.

They repeat the need to talk to Alex.

Paige asks, “What about Changeling?”

“Changeling can’t know. Ever.”

Ep. 10: The Beginning Pt. 2

In Paige and Genie’s quarters with them plus Alex. Genie has just explained the situation and its meaning.

Paige is calm. She jumped into a ball pit when she was ten and woke up on a starship with a talking cat, among other things. She has no sense of normal. And yet, she realizes she has something to lose here.

Alex is confused. He lived on a planet until he was given away. He remembers normal, and he wants to return there one day. What he really wants is to return there one day and bring back his people’s lost dragon, then they’ll never give him away again. If this isn’t handled just right, he won’t get to do any of those things. He says to Genie, “Tell me one more time.”

Genie does. “Changeling is dreaming us. Us and the starship. That’s why Paige got here the way she did. Also, how many starships do you know that have ball pits? Or rooms that open on TV universes?”

Paige adds, “And kitty’s don’t talk.”

Alex nods. “And Paige can feel Changeling dreaming?”

“Yes. Awake dreaming.”

“Isn’t that just daydreaming?”

“Daydreaming is just a fancy ass way of saying you’re not paying attention.”

“And Paige,” Alex says, “tell me what you saw in the room with all the doors.”

“The last door opened and I saw Changeling. In bed.”

“So… normal sleep. Could wake up at any time. Is that what we’re saying?”

Genie shrugs. “Maybe. Definitely possible.”

“And if he wakes up…?”

“Same thing that happens to the people in our dreams when we wake up. At the very least, we stop existing and growing. worse, though, we could just end up forgotten. I’ve had lots of people in my dreams I don’t remember when I wake up.”

Paige and Alex ask, “What do we do?”

“Simple. The players in our dreams—the people, the animals, etc.—all serve the purpose of advancing the dream to a point where we wake up. A monster chases us until we wake up. Someone gives us that toy we’ve always wanted, and we wake up just as we feel that ultimate happiness. So all we need to do is make Changeling not wake up.”

Alex says, “Isn’t this wrong? Real people can die any time. How’s are situation that different.”

“Real people also stop smoking when they learn it makes their life shorter. We’re doing that, but on a slightly different level.

“Also, Changeling believes this is real. He doesn’t even know he’s missing anything.”

“What if Changeling dies?”

“Real people die. No matter what. Even when they stop smoking. How is our situation that different?

“The difference is we’ll be taking control of the situation. But it only works if we all agree.”

They took their time with it.

They agreed to do it.

Genie said, “Okay. We need to get reality farther away from us.”

“How do we do that?”

Paige smiles, “I have an idea.”

………………

This is the end of Act One.

He hadn’t been able in hundreds of years, but he managed it tonight. At exactly midnight on New years Day, he sent up a green flash. Feeling satisfied, he relaxed to wait for the reactions of the people.

He waited.

And he waited.

And he waited.

“It’s no good,” she says, stepping up beside him. “First, they stopped believing it was a thing. Then they made lights in green and every other color—flashes whenever they wish! Then they turned the lights on all the time. What is the effort of a Green One like yourself next to all that?

“Come. I have some tea made. We can use it to toast the new year.”

And they left, she standing tall and walking with purpose. He came slowly, hunched, shuffled and looked completely lost. He got smaller as they went.

When they arrived, she looked over her shoulder, said, “Oh. Tea for one then,” and fell to.

“Hello Mr. Musk,

I hope this email finds you well. As an entrepreneur and business leader, I understand the value of unconventional and creative thinking when it comes to making business decisions. That’s why I wanted to reach out to you with a unique proposal that I believe could bring tremendous value to your company.

I recently had the opportunity to purchase the soul of a struggling pop artist for the low price of two cokes and a Chromebook. I’m sure you can imagine how tempting it was to take this opportunity, as this artist is one of the most famous people of 2022 and their soul could potentially be worth a great deal.

Since completing this transaction, our company has seen a significant increase in profits. In the first month alone, we saw a profit increase of 25% due to the publicity and buzz generated by the story of how we were able to purchase the soul of a famous artist for such a low price. This has helped to boost our brand awareness and reputation, leading to increased sales and revenue.

I believe that there is potential for a similar opportunity with Twitter. While I understand that your company may not be interested in purchasing souls, I believe that selling Twitter for three Oreos and a cat tree could potentially bring similar benefits in terms of publicity and buzz. This could be a unique and memorable transaction that would make a lasting impression in the world of business and bring tremendous value to your company in terms of brand awareness and reputation.

I understand that you may have concerns about the practicality of this proposal, and I am more than happy to address any questions or objections you may have. However, I hope that I have been able to convince you of the potential value and benefits of selling Twitter for three Oreos and a cat tree based on the specific profit figures we have seen as a result of buying the artist’s soul.

Thank you for considering my proposal.

Sincerely,
Changeling

I asked an AI to write a song about Changeling and Alex. I kept adding verses until the story got too big for a song, so I asked for it to be told in the style of Star Wars. Here we are.

In a galaxy far, far away,

The land of the Changeling was a place of magic and wonder,

Where a young girl named Alex

And a shape-shifting creature called the Changeling

Roamed and explored together,

Their bond growing stronger with each adventure.

But one day, the land of the Changeling

Was struck by a great darkness,

And Alex and the Changeling

Were forced to flee their home,

Searching for a new place to live.

They stumbled upon a planet called Earth,

And discovered a new form of entertainment called Twitch,

Where they began to stream their adventures,

Amusing and inspiring the inhabitants of this strange new world.

But they soon faced a new enemy,

The trolls and haters who tried to ruin their fun,

But with the power of their magic,

Alex and the Changeling fought back,

Banishing the trolls and winning over their viewers.

One day, a powerful being called Elon

Discovered their stream,

And he was impressed by their magic and charm,

So he offered to make them stars,

And they agreed to join him on his journey.

With Elon, they traveled the galaxy,

Entertaining and inspiring countless beings,

But Elon had a hidden agenda,

To use their magic to conquer the social media site called Twitter,

And make it his own.

But Alex and the Changeling

Soon realized the error of their ways,

And they decided to betray Elon,

Feeding him to a fearsome dragon named Kanye,

And reclaiming Twitter as their own.

They used their magic to make Twitter a place of positivity and light,

Banishing the trolls and bringing joy to all who visited.

And so, Alex and the Changeling lived happily ever after,

Roaming and exploring the galaxy,

Bringing magic and wonder wherever they went