“Hello Mr. Musk,

I hope this email finds you well. As an entrepreneur and business leader, I understand the value of unconventional and creative thinking when it comes to making business decisions. That’s why I wanted to reach out to you with a unique proposal that I believe could bring tremendous value to your company.

I recently had the opportunity to purchase the soul of a struggling pop artist for the low price of two cokes and a Chromebook. I’m sure you can imagine how tempting it was to take this opportunity, as this artist is one of the most famous people of 2022 and their soul could potentially be worth a great deal.

Since completing this transaction, our company has seen a significant increase in profits. In the first month alone, we saw a profit increase of 25% due to the publicity and buzz generated by the story of how we were able to purchase the soul of a famous artist for such a low price. This has helped to boost our brand awareness and reputation, leading to increased sales and revenue.

I believe that there is potential for a similar opportunity with Twitter. While I understand that your company may not be interested in purchasing souls, I believe that selling Twitter for three Oreos and a cat tree could potentially bring similar benefits in terms of publicity and buzz. This could be a unique and memorable transaction that would make a lasting impression in the world of business and bring tremendous value to your company in terms of brand awareness and reputation.

I understand that you may have concerns about the practicality of this proposal, and I am more than happy to address any questions or objections you may have. However, I hope that I have been able to convince you of the potential value and benefits of selling Twitter for three Oreos and a cat tree based on the specific profit figures we have seen as a result of buying the artist’s soul.

Thank you for considering my proposal.

Sincerely,
Changeling

I asked an AI to write a song about Changeling and Alex. I kept adding verses until the story got too big for a song, so I asked for it to be told in the style of Star Wars. Here we are.

In a galaxy far, far away,

The land of the Changeling was a place of magic and wonder,

Where a young girl named Alex

And a shape-shifting creature called the Changeling

Roamed and explored together,

Their bond growing stronger with each adventure.

But one day, the land of the Changeling

Was struck by a great darkness,

And Alex and the Changeling

Were forced to flee their home,

Searching for a new place to live.

They stumbled upon a planet called Earth,

And discovered a new form of entertainment called Twitch,

Where they began to stream their adventures,

Amusing and inspiring the inhabitants of this strange new world.

But they soon faced a new enemy,

The trolls and haters who tried to ruin their fun,

But with the power of their magic,

Alex and the Changeling fought back,

Banishing the trolls and winning over their viewers.

One day, a powerful being called Elon

Discovered their stream,

And he was impressed by their magic and charm,

So he offered to make them stars,

And they agreed to join him on his journey.

With Elon, they traveled the galaxy,

Entertaining and inspiring countless beings,

But Elon had a hidden agenda,

To use their magic to conquer the social media site called Twitter,

And make it his own.

But Alex and the Changeling

Soon realized the error of their ways,

And they decided to betray Elon,

Feeding him to a fearsome dragon named Kanye,

And reclaiming Twitter as their own.

They used their magic to make Twitter a place of positivity and light,

Banishing the trolls and bringing joy to all who visited.

And so, Alex and the Changeling lived happily ever after,

Roaming and exploring the galaxy,

Bringing magic and wonder wherever they went